As you may have guessed by the title, I’ve been stymied in my search for Paleo ice cream. As with a chocolate chip cookie, and by this I mean a real, no-shit, sugar, butter, fresh-out-of-the-oven chocolate gut twisting tongue-gasmic chocolate chip cookie, paleo ice cream may remain an elusive dream for a few more years.
This idea (or craving) brings up a major point in the whole Paleo world: First, as much as you want to waste air on it, there’s no perfect replacement for
cocaine sugar. With that said, there are plenty of damn close substitutes, some of them are VERY good, and there’s no reason not to be able to enjoy the good life and stay mainly Paleo.
There are plenty of paleo food recipes to try, including for ice cream, and many of them, while funny to read about, end up in some form of this experience.
Of course, you can read blog posts like this and figure “How could anything go wrong?”, but you’d be surprised at A: how many times you might fuck it all up before you get it right, and B: how easy it is to make something totally Paleo and then completely fuck it up by adding, say, Enjoy chocolate chips which use a list of a million things they’re not (gluten free, wheat free, dairy free, peanut free, tree nut free, egg free, soy free, fish free, shellfish free, sharkfin free, small Thai children free, and a few others. Ok, busted, I added those last two in) to distract you from the fact that their FIRST ingredient is evaporated cane juice, aka fucking sugar. Not Paleo. Maybe tasty. Maybe just a little won’t hurt. I’m not arguing that. They just ain’t fucking Paleo.
Back to my point, which was that Paleo ice cream in the sense of double blind placebo test taste good is hard to find. But P.I.C. that’s almost as good, and definitely satisfies the crave for all but the most cold hearted ice cream aficionado is out there. Ya just gotta be prepared to mash a few avocaods without spilling any coconut milk (did you even read that link I posted?)
NFH & the PT Crew