October 14, 2012

The Secret Power of "No"

"You can't lose that weight."  "You can't lift that."  "You don't make enough money."  "That will never work." Ever heard any of those? 

The "No" idea can be tough to hear, whether you get it from strangers or your own family, but "No" offers a lot of power.  The "No" you hear every day gives you an opportunity  each time you hear it.

See, "No" is a powerful word.  You can't just blow it off, or let it pass, or eat it up and let it sit inside you.

Letting "No" in without being challenged by the gate guard of your mind, or trying to pretend it didn't happen are both passive ways of dealing with it.  In the case of "No", passive won't work.

When the average person hears "No", they listen, and here's the key: They listen without distinguishing context. 

"No, don't cross that street because there's a bus coming" is one you probably want to listen to. 

"Don't touch that hot pan" is a great "No" to listen to, but "No, that business won't work" or "No, I don't think you can do that" or "No, you're not ready yet" are all negative ideas that represent someone else's paradigm, not yours.

The way you respond to "No" depends a great deal on your conditioning, which, like everything else in your mind, you have control over. 

Conditioning until you're old enough to think isn't something you are responsible for. 

As soon as you take charge of your own mind, conditioning IS your responsibility.  If you're old enough to read this, you're old enough to take charge of your own mind.

The first lesson is that "No" cannot be ignored.

Listen, most people don't think about "No". To them it's just another word, another roadblock that is easier to turn away from than it is to defeat. 

It's important to realize that "No" is just a guideline, a suggestion, an opinion. Don't believe me?  I could tell you about Thomas Edison and the ten thousand times a lightbulb said "No" to him, or a little fellow named Gandhi, who heard "No" from one of the most powerful governments in the world, but those ideas are so big that sometimes they don't connect, they don't convey the power they carry. 

"That's someone else", you say, or, "They did something big.  I'm just doing something little", or "That's another country, another time, another place." So let me tell you about someone from your time, from your place, from your country.  Let's talk about you. 

When was the last time you heard "No"?  It might have been this morning (it was for me.)  You might have had a conversation, maybe it was just a quick exchange of words, maybe it was a long and drawn out heart to heart. 

Maybe you saw "No" in a letter, or a grade, or a weight. Whatever it was, think about how you reacted to it.  Did you balk at it?  Did you question it?  Did you fight it? 

If you did, stop reading now and go off to whatever ass-kicking life you have, but if you didn't, if you just ate it right up without thinking about it, let me challenge you.

NO is not an absolute.

First, let me make you aware of the tools to meet the challenge.  There's a piece of knowledge that, if applied, no matter how often or late, will change your life, and that piece of knowledge is this:  "No" is not an absolute.

"No" does not mean what you've been trained to believe.  "No" is for regular people who do regular jobs and eat regular food and work out in regular ways.  "No" is not for you.

Second, you can decide at any time to step back from "No", to evaluate the source, the intent, and yes, the context, and THEN make your decision. This is the responsibility you have, and this is the power of "No."

In seeing a "No" for what it is, you can use the power of "No" to vault into "Yes" (or whatever you want). With "No" being so damnably powerful, it's pretty amazing where that vault can take you.

Try it out, and let the next "No" you hear launch you into a new world of your own conditioning.  Let your next "No" become your next success.  Yes!

Nik Hawks


Nik Hawks helps run the show at Paleo Treats. Fascinated by humans in all their strange glory, Nik is harnessed in and pulling hard in pursuit of excellence with the rest of the PT Crew. Enjoy!

Too much reading...
How about dessert?

Too Much Reading...How About Dessert?



September 10, 2020

Thanks for sharing Nik! This is exactly what I needed at just the right time. I hope you are well.


July 22, 2015

Marvelous!!!! Your words have crazy awesome depth!


May 07, 2015

This is so inspirational! Thank you for motivating me to keep following my hearts desires!! <3

Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.